I’ll Find My Way Home is a song of religious homecoming, pure and simple. Until recently I’d assumed this was of the Christian variety – probably because of a subconscious join with the timing of the release of the original single shortly before Christmas 1981. However, although the lyrics can be implied as Christian, they are non-specific. In fact there is one clue that they are not when Anderson sings that “my sun shall rise in the east”. Is this East as in the holy land or is this East in a more general sense, taking in religion other than the Judaic/ Abrahamic?
Is Anderson being deliberately obscure? He is said to be syncretic in belief. Syncretism blends different, even seemingly contradictory beliefs, together. It brings together disparate schools of thought. This open-minded cut-and-shunt belief system identifies common themes and therefore unity and creates an inclusive view of faith. It is therefore not tied to the strictures of any one religious brand.
This is the song as a journey of exploration – starting in the spiritual wilderness and rising through to a climax of certainty and strength. In this sense this is a song which feels closer to George Herbert than Heartbreak Hotel.
The song starts as Vangelis provides a sparse background, giving a canvas for a simple but plaintive Anderson vocal. There’s a sense of a voice in the wilderness about this but, although it’s quite stripped back here, the music retains a richness. It would have been easy to make this a desolate start. Instead it reflects everyday comfort and Anderson reaches out for something more.
“You ask me where to begin/ Am I so lost in my sin?” Am I so fallen that I have no bearings to find my way back to God? It could be a rhetorical question, but it’s a humble beginning and he goes on to reinforce the message: “You ask me where did I fall? / I’ll say I can’t tell you when.” Here there is acknowledgment of that fall. Christian orthodoxy tells us that man is born of original sin. Other faiths tell us that we are born pure and become corrupt. Either way the protagonist is a lost soul or at the very least one seeking reaffirmation.
The song progresses in a similar slightly timid, worried fashion: “But if my spirit is lost/ How will I find what is near?” If I’m fallen what hope do I have of finding hope or salvation? This is a daunted man, but in the midst of this angst is a sure knowledge that there is a way through: “Don’t question I’m not alone/ Somehow I’ll find my way home.” There ishope and by resisting questioning, Anderson is stating his faith. There is no need for this to be queried or challenged..
The hope comes from afar – “My sun shall rise in the east/ So shall my heart be at peace.” At this point we can interpret sun as the provider of light and life and therefore or we can hear it as “son”, in which case things go all New Testament. As we’ve already said, the hope is not western, it’s from the mystical east and not necessarily the more “traditional” Holy Land. However, from now on the signs appear more directly Christian, but not necessarily exclusively so. But the nagging familiarity this brings is at the core of the songs resonance.
At the heart of the major religions is the afterlife in whatever shape or form: “And if you’re asking me when/ I’ll say it starts at the end.” This is when, according to the Bible and other great teachings, one is released from the thrall of the earthly body and the spirit is released (“You know your will to be free”). But it is not a journey to be taken alone, but rather with a guide (Christ for example) – … “is matched with love secretly.” At this point the vocal emanates a peace and tranquillity beautifully in keeping with the sentiments.
Returning to the “spirit guide” or counsel, the lyric tells us that this is nothing new –
“Your friend is close by your side/ And speaks in far ancient tongue”. Whether this is Sanskrit or some other mother tongue, it’s an acknowledgment that we are part of a long line of humanity. As we in the west have evolved, have we moved increasingly away from our basic routes and closeness to God? There is a tone of recognition and welcome in Anderson’s voice here.
“Your friend is close by your side/ And speaks in far ancient tongue”. Whether this is Sanskrit or some other mother tongue, it’s an acknowledgment that we are part of a long line of humanity. As we in the west have evolved, have we moved increasingly away from our basic routes and closeness to God? There is a tone of recognition and welcome in Anderson’s voice here.
At this point the music swells – “All seasons begin with you” – is that you as in the protagonist? This makes sense. After all, the journey has to start from within. Alternatively, should this be You i.e. God? Anderson acknowledges that each of us is small in the overall scheme of things, “One world we all come from/One world we melt into one”. Ashes to ashes indeed. Each man is temporary, but the spirit can live on. This is where the underlying optimism of the song is apparent. This is where Anderson’s voice is loudest – a clear blast stating explicitly the nature of the home to which he aspires in this song. It’s also interesting to consider which season he’s talking about? This maybe a key lyric which points towards Christmas but I prefer to think of Spring and a time of a rebirth.(Shades of Chaucer’s Prologue here maybe?)
Like all great advocates he wants to share the News: “Just hold my hand and we’re there/ Somehow we’re going somewhere”. Join me he says. Interestingly he doesn’t say where, only somewhere, be it heaven, nirvana or elsewhere.
“You ask me where to begin / Am I so lost in my sin.” Sound familiar? This is point of emphasis and he hits this lyric with supreme gusto and conviction. It’s reinforced by a strident keyboard “dah dah”. This is a repeat of the opening words but this time sung with vigour and pride. The last time we heard these words they were sung with timidity. This is the honest man opened up without pretence and acknowledging his status in the presence of his faith.
By the time we have reached the denoument it is with a determined calm. “But if my spirit is strong/ I know it can’t be long/ No questions I’m not alone/ Somehow I’ll find my way home” is sung more quietly but with authority. This climbdown in force is important because it represents a type of surrender and acknowledgment.
This is a song of hope with a sense of redemption. It’s reminiscent of a musical Waste Land, albeit far shorter, infinitely more approachable and less dense by a considerable margin. As such it’s a triumph of the art of the pop song – there’s a lot crammed into these 4 minutes 27 seconds.
The rising strength of the Vangelis sonic landscape echoes Anderson’s increasing religious certainty. It’s this complementary combination which turns this into an uplifting and moving song. Anderson means what he says – you can feel it in the vocal. His voice is almost unique in rock as an alto tenor – very sweet, clear and strong. And this matches the honest search for truth – it is an uncorrupt voice seeking home. When he sings the final repeats that “Somehow I’ll find my way home” he does so with strength and conviction. By this time you have joined him on the journey in an uplifting joy.